Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Neigh wach man (sic)

Hot off the press, in our letterbox today, comes this from the inimitable, indomitable Neighbourhood Watch Newsletter for Jordan Lane East:

I was very disappointed last month to have a copy of the Newsletter pushed under our gate wrapped in a clear plastic glove for protection, and I presume, to protect the messages written on the newsletter. The message written in highlighter pen and addressed "To Neigh wach man" threatening that the Leith boys will Get you" was accompanied by language not even used on Big Brother. As I put every copy through a letterbox I can only assume someone doesn't appreciate my efforts.
Phew. What an intro. My eyes are peeled for ned-like sorts wielding highlighters lurking in our stair. In fact, I have a theory about the culprit.

Meanwhile, our man with the binocs remains undeterred, and furnished us with a cracker this month. Highlights include the theft of over £30 worth of deodorants, followed just six days later with an upped ante of £50 worth of antiperspirant products from the same shop. By my calculation that would be 25 or more deodorants. That's a lot of the underarm stuff. Either someone's figured out how to make speed from it, or the thieves have some serious perspiration problems. Mysterious.

You see why this city's produced so many great crime writers?

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