Sabotage update

Last night the was the first viewing of our flat. Our landlord - Grimm by name and nature - was brusque and businesslike as always, seemingly forgetting that this is actually our home as well as a sales proposition. He came armed with accessories - a horrible standard lamp which nonetheless cast a very nice light, and pictures which he hung above our bed - no questions, no apologies, just down to business and please put away that unsightly ironing board. At least he said please.

He hadn't reckoned with all our deviousness though. We have two lamps in the living room which cast a very nice light, but there is no centre light. The only other lighting option is a seventies-style fluoro concealed behind a pelmet - we never have it on as it is hideous (and shows up all the flaws in the paintwork). I woke up one night last week with the cunning thought that if the lamps were not working, the fluoro would have to be on. A. embraced this wholeheartedly, and set about breaking the filament in one of the bulbs. Throughout the whole disturbing and bizarre (second) helicopter episode of ER (I thought it was quite sad that no-one found Romano - his pic on the end credits the only reference to his fate) he shook and rattled this lightbulb - to no avail. It remained intact, but not when subjected to the same treatment after spending a night in the freezer. See, physics study comes in handy for something! We thought we'd been scuppered when we got home after the viewing, as Grimm had swapped the bulb with that of another lamp in our bedroom. But someone must be looking out for us, because it wasn't working either.

Rereading the above paragraph, we sound quite mad! We probably are!